Relationship (in)security ?

A few weeks before it happened to watch a tv serial.

You or your beloved some would select someone ( matrimonial ), a qualified match for you. You experiment to live "together" with that someone to see if the relationship would work out. If it works out , then marry and continue for long term ( not sure how long ? ). If it does not then go apart ( search other ).

the above statement looks to me similar the following lines ;

You hire a qualified-resource . Put the resource on probation for 6 months . If his performance is significant then move him/her to permanent role in the organization; else send him/her a termination notice as "agreed"
Perhaps - this reflects that we have not only got outsourced jobs from west but also the culture(?).

I may also be failing to understand if the attitude of our modern people is improved to THINK as " What is wrong in the other way ? We don't need to change according to time and life style ?"

On the other side, It sounds to be an unhealthy way of approach ("living together" before a social commitment) , given with the reason of culture and believes of your own soil. The risky experiment at early stage of your life which perhaps initiating a battle between your own heart(emotions) and brain(logics) when it fails.. Many psychologists advise/warns on the vulnerability towards the above said approach of our modern way of THINKING. Only to realize after a while that time is the best healer to neutralize oneself. Maintaining any "Personal Relationship" is a practice which needs to be worked out at "every stage" of your life.. Not just to take it as granted.

Why it needs to be worked out ?

You are holding a thin(sensitive) thread of connectivity with the other end to a person and by chance, if you are the other one breaks the thread... though it perhaps practical to re-tie that but with a big visibility of that KNOT over that thin line you maintained !!! Hence to be careful on any genuine relationship.

One needs to focus on solutions rather than fearing to face the "real fear" or blaming other personal or society. Simultaneously you need good amount of patience[Don't expect results in life as soon as you press ENTER],maturity[College Topper, Campus offered Job, Beloved Family and Great Earnings , but still you are left to LEARN practical life] and a little bit of seriousness [THINK Consequences before you proceed and BELIEVE that you are one of the Social Animals] if you believe that you are into a genuine companionship.The goal is to take up and walk on a long term commitment for rest of your life.. You are responsible for each others welfare of this society.

Human Relationship is not just a visible bond which is about your family,friends,work and so on... It is exponential. All we people around this world are connected/reconnected to each other by someway. Meaning, your life is not just your own individual life.. Sometimes you tend to explore mysteries of unsuccessful relationships.. and left with no distinct conclusion. Sometimes people lose this consciousness while getting too much engaged with their routines / jobs and start to encourage their thinking within their own world. Everyone has choices to choose, financially liberal , more independent life , odd working hours and too much of communications.. at some stage they realize that the "war" was not outside but within oneself.

Recently, I came across one of the Andy Matt's famous books though it talks about the above profound message(s)... I felt of being supported partially.

No hard feelings here ; life goes on.. Follow yourself !

Behind the Scenes...

[Flash back....]

I attempted a risky task at my early 20's .. I decided to take up a new job ( with no security ) which was at 1000 miles from my current place then. Well, it is always a big deal when you migrate from your known place to somewhere strange. But, that was worth risk for that part of my life, when I realized after a few months.

I was put up in a decent hotel for those initial days until I could get my own place to live. The hunt was at high to get a decent flat. Finally, it was my ex-colleague who helped me to get accommodated with an elder friend Selva . I was some N'th tenant to share the flat with Mr.Selva . Selva was not liked by most of his house mates. Either they left in a few months or Selva forced them to get vacated.

The last guy before me, stayed for extended 2 more days even after my arrival. That guy (with no surprises) had huge complaints about Mr.Selva. I thought it was an add-on to the current risk in my life. People admired Selva, but seemed no one liked him. Its because, he was simple, straight forward ; goes with his own thoughts towards principles and procedures ( what's called as discipline/military ).

For me, Selva didn't seem to be a bothering guy. He was elder to me; treated me as a younger brother. He guided me for all the initial needs I wanted to get to know about the locality and city. Selva was maintaining good reputation in that locality where we lived. Selva used to take me to all his own/known ppl around that place for any occasion. It was a small network of people he had in that small locality including his land lord Nathan - a business man, the grocery shop owner - Naren , Transport owner - Jay, Garments designer - Ganpath .... and etc.

Once I was taken along with Selva to Jay's house. Jay's - a small family.. he lived happily with his wife, a daughter-Latha and Son-Prem. Latha looked to be a homely girl. Many times on later occasions I was impressed by her behavior. She used to come to our house for tuitions along with other friends. Sometime she was bringing foods for us . I was highly thankful for their courtesy. I used to wonder about the kindness ppl shown towards me and Selva. Days went on .. One fine day, Latha stopped coming for tuitions.. both Selva and me never minded that as a big thing.

It was time for Selva to move on with his new job to another city. the last day while leaving the city, Selva wanted to disclose something to me. Selva had a promise with Jay's family to get a decent guy for Latha... it was coincidental that I was introduced to Jay's family without any intention and the interpretation for that family went in different angle of direction. No one was wrong at any of those incidents including Latha.

After Selva's departure with that surprise revealings, I had nothing to say about those incidents to any one. One fine day, I saw Latha with her husband and she was waving her hands towards me while passing by that bus stand. She was "carrying". After a few steps forward, I turned back and looked at her smiling face.. perhaps a female's heart is ocean of secrets which does not wave out on face. She was still smiling and I acknowledged back. We both knew what went on a short while of months ago , but never knew that each other was "aware" of those intentions till that moment and even till date. Our smiles had a lots of meanings behind unrevealed...

why i titled this post as " Behind the Scenes "..
At times , the Scenes at bare eyes have a well planned and pre-determined practice or expectations.... We only, enjoy the moments ( suppose to..! ) and learn the moral at or after the climax...sometimes never.

life goes on...

Why to.. [ Part 3 ]

Part1 --> Part2




6100 --> 6610 --> htc Touch

Well, there are always reasons for everything...

I do have one --> I lost my 6610 and know where & when...

Guess , who is new one ?

HTC Touch, the world's first touch phone that gives you the whole new touch panel experiences.

Moral : Kuch Paane Ke Liye , Kuch Khona Padta Hai !

;-)

THE RACE - Where do you want to go ?

Other side of reality...

It happened to hear the saying of a best friend to an another "When your father had a monthly earnings of 3-4K and he could bring you to stand at this level and you at this moment , having 12-15L of CTC and still feel discontented which points out to mean that you are still failing to learn on how to live your real life. "

Today you are chasing jobs better "package" ... doing demeaning works.. convincing yourself " Work is Worship "... worrying about taxes.. planning for dollar/pound saving... and loosing a balanced life,morality(mix of cultures/customs) and genuine relationships.. just for hoping the days of paradise... (in the future )

...this race is WORTHLESS !

WHO ARE YOU – I know the answer(s) !!!

CRYING at each time - only to make dad, mom and grand ma to puzzle if that was to indicate hungry.. or pain.

LearnT to reflect at the expression at face on the ppl you were looking at ...calling it as SMILING.

FEARED when someone programmed your mind about a new object which might bother you negatively.

FELT heaven when each time your mom holding you on her closet.. AFFECTION of the living goddess.

SEARCHED for mom/dad's hands around you at middle of nights only to feel yourself SECURED.

Where were I inside your marriage album – asking your parents only to reflect that you were INNOCENT.

ADAMANT to get a handful toffee, only to PROVE that you were a KID.

COMPLAINT about your fellow peer at lkg class, only to REALIZE lately that you are a SOCIAL ANIMAL.

High School life at TEENAGE, only to know an out-of-syllabus subject – OPPOSITE SEX.

EXPECTED things to happen for you ; then you started to COMPROMISE at times.

Nothing is Impossible -- and only when you realized Everything comes at a cost.

You LEFT one for another and named that as sacrifice.

Giving the name as RESPECT, you followed the saying of your elders without REASONING.

INSPIRED by someone’s thought/actions, only to ASPIRE high which keeps on changing at each stage of YOUR LIFE.

When DISAPPOINTED, you kicked yourself behind to go further - only to name it as SELF MOTIVATION.

ACHIEVED what was visible to others, only to be called by them as PERFORMER..

Each personal RELATIONSHIP teaches , only to OBSERVE differences between AFFECTION,PURPOSEFUL,CARE,LUST & LOVE.

You learnt NOBODY is perfect and still maintaining relationships, saying ADJUSTMENTS.

You found pleasure at one puff of cigarette and a sip of whiskey, only to say on the other day I had HANGOVER.

….’ Ocean ‘ Life - a few words are always inadequate.

IT JUST HAPPENS…

[ Story Time.... ]

It was yet another hectic day at office and its always peace for his mind soon after reaching the home. He released his foot out of those formal shoes. He felt great while those naked feet touching that chilled floor. But today, something more was missing. His eyes were searching his beloved wife. She was inside kitchen. For sure, she heard that he is home at that time. Even he knows that she will not turn to receive him today as she used to do everyday. He approached her closely and could see from back that she was doing nothing but trying to act as if attempting some works. He slowly seated his face on her right shoulder by sandwiching his cheek with her.

No reaction for a minute. He held her hands and brought them to fold in across her....uttered at lower whisper "sorry". He felt her calm and has refined his confidence on his knowledge that women are always kind at their heart. He realized that his harsh behavior in the morning might have made her upset. He was late to office and she was insisting him to take breakfast and proceed.. With no patience he voiced something and went. Later he could understand something went wrong this morning only when she didnt answer his phone at afternoon.

She released her hands from him and turned forth. He attempted to look into her eyes but she didnt want to. She came for resting her head on his left side while he started holding her palms gently. she started whispering " it was my mistake to jump into your attention while you were rushing to office this morning. I knew you had an important presentation.. you were preparing whole night and woke up late"
She didnt say anymore.

If ego of a person is defined as “Attitude and believes which satisfy mental gratifications “ then they had complete blank meaning for that word between them.

She still remembers their first time meet. Her parents asked to meet him on an informal occasion.. Being a practical girl, she was not feeling nervous but with a little curious to meet a stranger guy recommended (!) by her mom & dad. He just came into the scene as soon their parents introduced them to each other. Gone those day to say "vanakkam" by putting both hands of yours together _/\_ while meeting someone from a conservative back ground..... He approached for a handshake with her and very casually she proceeded with. she thought for a sec that he didn't want to with draw from her soft palm. their parents started to converse for them.. these oldies themselves talked everything about him and her by leaving nothing for she/he to talk in general about them ; What to say.. what to ask... though too many rays were starring between their four eyes , they were still concluding inside on how to begin.. Finally within no mins ;

He broke that silence...

"enaku unna pidichirukku . ennai kalyanam pannikkuriya ? " [ i like you.. will you marry me ? ]..

she was shocked to hear that as first sound/voice from him.. does it seem to be a simple question for him...? And, of course he came into the point straight away… if not then why the reason they were “arranged” to meet with each other ; she said yes after a while.

Now, She is resting her head on his left side while he was holding her palms gently. He too , always recollects that first meet for a sec while holding her hand.

She raised her eyebrows half an inch towards top of her face and asked with her usual playful tone “What if I would have said sorry on that day?”

He casually said “You could have missed this hug for your life time.”

LOVE, IT JUST HAPPENS…

the beauty of life..

I came across this line a long while ago - " the beauty of the life does not depend on how happy you are ; but how happy others can be, because of you.."

During a rainy season, i started for home from bangalore in order to have an exciting long weekend. That Volvo couch was not much occupied with number of pax , including me. On the way to electronic city while the traffic was still appearing like ants parade, the gentle man next to me was pissed off.. started calling someone. His gesture and packages reflected that he was straight from bangalore international airport... traveling back from united states of america. Ppl who go to developed nations for a visit / business would have a same gesture [perhaps at least tiny] when getting back to ‘populated’ life style. Well, this is not the main point of this post.

While I reached hometown and coming out of travel office after a return journey reservation… happened to fall upon a stranger holding a girl child.. approached me with needy look at his eyes. There was a female standing out there.. behind him. I was sure that were not local ppl as their appearance reflected to be from some north part of country. He started talking to me by explaining that they were traveling from lucknow and they lost their luggage and money during the travel towards down south holy places.

I had not enough money to lend them as he requested. But, I suggested guiding him the way to nearest police station where they can take up some help. Soon that guy stepped back and started approaching other ppl. I reached home and was talking to dad on about this incident. Realized that there are group of ppl who do this kind of decent begging job by taking advantage on soft side of hurrying-passengers in the city.

A few months before, I was approaching to MRT station, got to notice that there was a disabled guy on his wheel chair. Everyday I used to see that person around there, selling tissue papers for some cost. On the other day, my house door was knocked. When opened, there was a guy standing with bunch of dolls. He was trying to express something to me and was also holding a photo with a few note that he was a deaf, makes and sells the dolls at door steps just to get some money to feed his child and continue to exists his living. There was no sound between us while I understood what he was trying to communicate. More than the way he explained [!] about the doll on how he made and it’s look, there was a big value of honest-impression he brought in that scene with that attitude, which was far away higher than the price 10$ of his doll.

That happy doll in my room still inspires my thought towards that phenomenon.

Yes – life is beautiful though there different moments.